Everybody knows somebody who's familiar with the online dating service experience. It's a fairly common way for people to meet and become romantically involved these days. But how is it different from more traditional dating and courtship?
and take a crack at online dating in this week鈥檚 episode of Two Guys on Your Head.
The largest potential downside to the online dating is that it can create a cycle of "pass/fail" relationships that are never fully explored. When you create a profile on a dating site, you're presenting your best self 鈥� the most positive aspects of who you are as a person. Not only does this make rejection harder to process (and rejection is what people on those sites experience most frequently), it also allows users to view dates as a binary, yes/no proposition: "Either I would consider marrying this person and cross that off my checklist, or I will not date this person again 鈥� so on to the next." And with that mindset, disappointment is abundant.
But if you view online dating as a tool for meeting new people 鈥� a way to be exposed to new environments and new activities 鈥� it can be a rewarding opportunity. Our mobility and changeability has increased significantly over the past decade; we don鈥檛 necessarily stay near familiar social groups and activities throughout our lives. We might move to a new city and need a convenient way to meet people and find a new social circle.
As long as dating isn鈥檛 approached with a singular goal in mind (like getting married), online dating services are a great new technological advancement. But if you go in expecting to achieve some lofty goal on your life-progress checklist, it's probably a recipe for disaster.
People are not their profile. Human relationships and experiences can't be measured by how useful they are in relation to achieving a goal, like finding a partner or getting married. Relationships are constantly evolving, living things that require work to maintain 鈥� even between compatible partners. The relationships that last are the ones where that work leads to mutual benefit, enjoyment and progress.
